It has been a really strange summer so far and it is bound to stay this way. The main reason that this is so weird is that part of me feels like this is not my home anymore. Most of my high school friends are not sticking around as they are paying higher rent than I am and as a result are living in their apartments/houses. I came home thinking I needed a break from being in new places, but now I wonder if I should have just appreciated my summer before the "real world" starts. My life is split between being here, back at school and a little in DC. I am thinking that if I choose to get a job, DC might be the best place for me, specifically, somewhere on the red line would great. It's strange feeling like I have no real place to call home anymore. Is home where my parents are or is it someplace else? School is home in a more general sense because I move from room to room each year.

Part of me is ready for the next year but the uncertainty of what follows scares me. I have no idea what I want to do. Do I want to get a job and push off grad school if I go at all? Do I want to go to grad school for a degree that I probably can't pay off? Do I want a job in the profit world where while I might make more, I may not be as happy? Or, if I get a job I love at a non-profit, can I afford rent?

My sister just graduated from high school, the same one I did and I realized that I will probably never have to set foot on that campus again and it was a bittersweet feeling. There were good times and bad had on that campus but it's no longer meant for me. She's going to start college (not a Lehigh but another great school) and eventually, I think she is going to start feeling what I am about being divided. Last night I told her she scares my friends because they only know about her graduating and remember her as a little kid rather than who she is now. It still scares me that she drives but I know what they mean because I feel the same way about their siblings. Liz then told me I scare her friends for the same reason she scares mine. Scare them? Right..... Try scaring myself. People I graduated high school with are done with college already. I could be done with college already. It's like going to camp on the first day, scary but exciting all at the same time. I miss camp and all that it is as a little bubble.

Well, I am at work and am now going to go finish putting labels on binder tabs.