Someday Everything Will Make Perfect Sense

We Can Burn Brighter Than The Sun

2012-01-30T03:11:00.000-05:00

My grandma passed away this week. It's hard for me to talk about since it's hard for people to understand since our relationship was so unique.

For about 22 years, my grandma and great-aunt lived in the four room house next door to mine. Growing up, my parents added a door to our house so that Lizzie and I could run to their house through the backyard rather than venturing out to the front. It didn't matter if we were living across the street or just next door, if we used the front door, she always worried that we wouldn't get home safely. The door knocker on that house still says "Emilia's Second Home." If my parents weren't home when I got dropped off, that's where I ended up to do art projects or watch ballets on video or just hang out with auntie and grandma.

It's only upon looking at our relationship when I was growing up now that I realize that my grandma helped keep me a kid as long as possible. She would come over every night and read to me until I fell asleep. When I was older and was reading on my own, she would sit with me while I finished the chapter (or the book) and either read something else or read the dictionary. She told me her dad used to read the dictionary so she figured she may as well. I don't know if she ever made it that far since she always seemed to be starting over.

The Einstein quote "If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairytales" seems most fitting since she read me Peter Pan or Brambly Hedge, the same stories night after night yet she always read what I requested. It didn't matter that I was becoming too old to have stories read to me every night, she was the last person I saw before I feel asleep and the first person to greet me in the morning. When she and my mom would go to the ballet, Dad would be tasked with reading to me and it still took me ages longer to fall asleep than when Grandma did.

I wasn't the easiest child but I knew I had screwed up when she felt she had to tell me I was out of line. She made me soup when I was sick, came over when I had crazy early mornings for fun activities and woke me up for school with breakfast almost every morning. It just occurred to me that this is probably the reason I am so distrustful of alarm clocks and they make me so paranoid, I can't count on them like I could count on Grandma.

My aunt asked what my Grandma's favorite charity was and realizing that I had no idea, I asked my parents. Both of them looked stumped for a minute until my dad comments: "Emilia and Lizzie's wallets." She spoiled both of us rotten. She would fund trips for Lizzie and I to do sister things or go shopping or whatever but there were times we knew we couldn't tell Grandma we wanted something or we would end up with it and Mommy would not be pleased.

When my parents both worked full time, Grandma would sometimes take Lizzie and I shopping but we would take a cab there and a cab back which is not so common in the South Bay. While sitting in the cab, we would help her make sure her wallet was organized. It was never the disaster that mine is now but our job was to make sure that "George Washingtons' heads were all going the same way." To this day, it makes me crazy when the president's don't all face the same way. She also ironed money if it wasn't crisp enough or went through the wash. I still think that's a little strange but she did it so it must be cool.

There are those people who have their grandmas that raise them and then there are those who never see or know their grandmas and I was lucky to have such an amazing one in my life. It hit me when I came home last night since I park in their driveway that she's never going to happen to come out when I get home.

I've always known that I would get to this point eventually but losing her was once one of my greatest fears. I lost sleep as a kid trying to imagine what my life would be like when she could no longer be in it. What I've realized is that she's always wanted me to live my life for me and that she always just loved being a part of that. There are a billion more stories to tell about her from our twenty three years together and I look forward to telling my future offspring about what an amazing woman my grandma was. If I can be even half as amazing as she is, I will have lived a good life.

Do You Believe in Miracles?

2012-01-13T02:30:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year!

So in retrospect, 2011 wasn't my best year but I learned a whole lot about myself and I think gained more tools to improve my future opportunities and potential. I decided that 2012 will be the year I try to challenge myself more and try new things.

On to better things. I recently help name a cat. If you know me, you know that I am totally not a cat person. I am pretty allergic to them and they bore me a whole lot more than dogs but this was the cat of my best friend, so I will do my best to like it. I suggested to name him (the cat in question) Sheldon since we had some many good times watching The Big Bang Theory last year and in case you don't watch the show, the main character has a song which is sung to him while he's sick called Soft Kitty. Meagan and I sang it to each other for fun sometimes. It's hard being 3,000 miles from her so I'm really hoping that I can make it out there in the spring.

The last few weeks have brought some interesting opportunities that I am debating. I promise to get more into all those options once I have a clearer idea what I think I will end up doing. It's been nice to have projects to work on.

I have also retaken up knitting. I am trying to get better at it because I know that I am slowly getting towards the age where my friends are going to start getting married and having kids and it would be great to be able to make things for all these future children. My other goal is to make an acceptable helmet liner for Meagan since apparently other ladies make these and give them away and she better be wearing one of mine and not one of these ladies.

So, things I have been enjoying of late about being unemployed. I got to go to a taping of Chelsea Lately yesterday. It's actually the episode I'm watching on TV now. I'm glad I went to a show like this because it was filmed in one take rather than having to watch them do the same jokes again and again. Rush and sorority life were great prep for being part of the studio audience especially when they are recording that sections as the noise to represent the whole audience. It's a lot of clapping, fake laughter, (well some of it, everyone on that show is pretty funny to begin with) and cheering. Next time, I'm bringing a book though since the waiting to get in was about twice as long as the taping.

It just occurred to me that it's been over a month since I updated this so I should probably address the holiday season that just passed. Lizzie came home for a bit and walked in to her surprise Hanukkah present which was a Christmas tree. For some reason, every person that I mentioned this tree to proceeded to then ask me, "Aren't you Jewish?" For anyone that questioned that, YES I AM A JEW. I have been for almost 23 years. Well, depending on who you ask, the amount of time I have been a Jew might change... It's a long story but if you're curious, ask. I forgot how many amazing ornaments my mom's family had given her over the years. We also discovered that somehow, Lizzie made no ornaments in school so almost all the little kid craft ones were mine. Getting the tree was a debacle on its own but it was so ridiculous, I won't get into it.

New Year's Eve is normally such a let down. Going out to bars are crowded and awkward but you never meet anyone new by just seeing the same people you see all year. This year, I decided that I was just going to have people from all my different groups of west coast friends over and we were just going to hang out. There were no expectations of what the night would hold and it was exactly what I wanted. It was super relaxed and I didn't have to deal with anyone I didn't want to which was perfect. I would do it again.

Other updates, if you need to get a hold of me and don't have my e-mail or phone number, I have a twitter (ekubokirs) or leave me a comment here, or ravelry.com if you are crafty. I love that site.

I will try to update this more often but it will probably start being more commentary and less about life.

Sun Is Shining

2011-12-07T21:42:00.000-05:00

Okay so quick catching up on my life.

I am still looking for a full time position and trying to occupy my time with other part time adventures. I am the advisor for a teen leadership group which I am loving because those kids are rockstars. The program has them plan four events and I just have to help them stay focused and facilitate some of their discussion. It's not the most exciting thing I have ever done but these kids are fantastic. During their weekend retreat, we would give them a time to be someplace and they would not only be on time but early and sitting around in a circle, playing a game they organized themselves. They function well as a group which is not always the case with teenagers, especially since they don't have very much in common.

A few weeks ago, I started developing a teaching assistant program for my local synagogue to help their teenagers feel more confident working with kids in a classroom setting. I wrote out an outline and submitted it to the education director and found out today that they have a budget to pay me and I start teaching at the end of January.

Working on this program is going to be super stressful for the next month but since most places are slowing down (if not freezing) hiring due to the end of the year, it seems to come at the perfect time. It's also looking like it might lead to more part time things through the synagogue in the future.

It's looking like I am going to stay in Southern California for a while because I am realizing that I hate the cold!

I will attempt to update this now with the progress on my extra projects and will hopefully have good news on the employment front in the early new year.

Here Comes the Sun, Here Comes the Sun, and I Say, It's All Right

2011-07-04T19:04:00.000-04:00

So here goes the next update on my life because I feel guilty not keeping up a little.

I decided to go back to camp this summer to lifeguard. This is the first summer that I don't have campers and the first summer back since 2008. It's strange because so much has changed but there are other things that have stayed the same as they always have been.

I love being able to spend most of my time in the sun after being cooped up inside last summer and a fair amount during the year. The people who are working this summer are great and it's been great to get to know new people and spend time with my old friends who I haven't had much time with over the last few years, mostly due to the distance.

There are no updates on the long-term future yet other than a move to DC might not happen until January since the potential roommate will be moving then rather than September as originally planned.

Sorry for being boring :) but camp rules my life right now in the best of ways. I really needed a little time off while I continue to look for a job and figure out the long term.

You've got every right, To a beautiful life. Come on!

2011-05-25T00:10:00.000-04:00

Here we go, my last real Lehigh post for this blog. For the sake of full disclosure, I should mentioned that I am writing this on a plane the day after graduation with the intention of posting this online when I get back to Los Angeles later this afternoon.

So picking up where I think I left off last time. We went to Ocean City, MD for Senior Week the week before graduation and reunion weekend so Thursday to Thursday. It was nice to have friends in the car with me for a drive like that because I normally have to do drives of similar distance alone and it was nice to have someone to talk to. Anyone who has a chance to get to go on a senior trip should take all advantage. It was nice to have a week off to just spend time with the friends who I am about to leave since everything will be different now. We met new people, got lucky with far better weather than was forecasted and had a lot of fun. We were supposed to have a lot of rain and clouds but we had a fair amount of nice weather, which meant good things for getting tan for gradation.

The weekend before graduation is reunion weekend meaning that all of the classes celebrating significant reunions (ie 70 years) come back to campus and celebrate with their classes and essentially welcome the new class into the alumni world. There is a parade of classes, which starts with the current graduating class and then goes from oldest to youngest (so we started with 70^th reunion) and leaves the 50^th reunion for last since they are the class that adopted us. It’s strange to think that in 2057, I can go back and be a part of the group that adopts the class of 2061. There are all sorts of activities to do but my weekend included a LOT of packing. I never thought I would have accumulated so much stuff over only four years!

On Sunday, I had the unique opportunity of watching my best friend become a commissioned officer in the United States Army. She and eleven other graduations were commissioned as second Lieutenants who will handle a variety of things from infantry to personnel all over the country. It was cool to watch because her dad was the one to issue her oath to her since he is a retired naval officer and the requirement is to be an officer in the US Military. He did stand out a bit in the midst of all of the other Army officers in his dress whites. My best friend is an amazing person and I am so proud of her for taking on this commitment. It was really nice to be able to share in her special day with her.

Monday morning, my housemates and I were up really early (well, like 7ish) in order to get up to the stadium for graduation. Our robes were rentals that we were told might run if they got wet so it was a risk since it looked like rain and the forecast was for thunderstorms all day and the ceremony was outdoors. We all graduate by college (meaning CBE versus Arts and Sciences etc) and then the split us up by half of the alphabet so I realized that I have very few friends in my business school in my half of the alphabet so I almost decided to just graduate with the other half of the alphabet in Arts and Sciences.

Having been to graduations in the past, I was worried at how long it would take since there were over 1,700 people graduating and we all had to walk across the stage. Most other schools do main processionals with a speaker or two and then departmental or college graduations but we have the entire university graduate together which I like because I got to watch my friends graduate even if it meant that the process was a little long. I think our class president stole the show with his speech about how everything was changing but also addressing the question of how we are going to be defined as people and as a generation. Our keynote speaker only spoke for about ten minutes, which was great because she got her point across but also realized that we were being rained on at this point. There was enough rain that it started to drip off my cap onto my gown but luckily, they were wrong and the gown didn’t bleed and stain.

HOODS ARE CONFUSING! We have an entire group of collegiate graduates (or candidates for graduation as we were called then) and none of us could figure out how to correctly put on these hoods! They came with instructions but the instructions only defined how to put them on by the basics, not how they were supposed to look when we were finished. We improvised a fair amount but I think we all looked pretty good in the end; well as good as you can look in giant brown robes and silly hats. Part of me wants a PhD just for the crazy plushy hat.

I never considered myself the type of student that was really close to my professors but it was interesting listening to my parents recounting watching me graduate. Our ushers are faculty members so they are all in their academic regalia and one of the ushers right next the podium which are names were read was one of the professors who joined us on our freshman GC trip to India and he smiled at me, told me I would do well in life and gave me a huge hug. Two seconds later, I handed my card to one of my professors from this past semester, she had been just taking cards and reading them but she took mine, read it and then looked up and smiled at me. It might be weird, but I felt really good in that moment like despite all of the uncertainty in my life, if these people thought I would be successful then it must be possible. It got even better when I ran into one of my favorite professors, Jill Brown (seriously, take every class possible with her, she’s AWESOME) and she had nice things to say in front of my parents about me but she is such a genuine person and I know she expects great things of me and for her, I want to accomplish great things.

So that brings me to this moment, flying somewhere between Philadelphia and Nashville on my way back to the land of Menchies, In-N-Out and Coffee Bean with no definite idea of what comes next. Maybe I will post on this one again about what did end up coming next but I have a feeling Lehigh will unlink my blog before I find out.

On that note, if you have read my blog, try those of the other student bloggers. Everyone has a different Lehigh experience, it’s not an education factory but so much more than that and just as no two people are exactly the same, neither are two Lehigh experiences. Maybe I will give one more final recap of my four years when I have a little more space from the experience but again, I have no idea what the future looks like so we shall see.

I Never Want To Fall Apart

2011-05-01T13:28:00.000-04:00

So using this blog as my usual procrastination tool, here I am. I know I still have a fair amount of work left to do today since I got nothing done yesterday due to other engagements but I just keep having moments where I sit here and think, "I should tell more people about this moment." Right now, I am a little annoyed because I am in the serious library in the quiet section where everyone who does not want silence has headphones in but the place should be silent otherwise. However, there are two people talking, lacking all hushed tones necessary to not get the evil looks from EVERYONE else. Someone also left their cellphone on ring, a big faux pax in the library but to make it worse rather then immediately silencing it and taking it outside to take the call, she proceeds to take the call inside. I don't know if this would bother me so much except that it is the weekend before finals when getting a seat in the library is an ordeal in itself due to demand and everyone is here to get work done, not just have a quiet place to see friends as is sometimes the case during other weeks.

If I tell you all my plan for the rest of the day, the likelihood of achieving it is greater since then I feel like I am being held accountable to someone besides myself. I have to finish my section of the group deliverables for project management then I am going to finish my question set for 306 then work on my study guide for global studies. I can finish the study guide and work on the paper tomorrow but I want to get as far ahead as possible so I can get some more sleep tonight since even the guy at Johnnys told me I was looking tired. That is never a good sign since he sees me maybe twice a week.

I need to have dinner at home since I am trying to finish eating everything I have in the freezer at the moment, I am currently down to some frozen pizza, pirogues, waffles and cake. I think I may have one other lean cuisine type thing.

At the moment I miss three things about the Georgetown library, one is coffee, two is the company and three is the lack of windows. Their coffee place was conveniently located near the table that our group took over and open almost the entire time I was there with good snacks and fantastic coffee options. I miss Ashley and the others and our (almost) 24 hour study table as all of us tried to finish our research papers, issue papers and finals. They all provided a much needed break every once in a while and constant security which was necessary for food runs. Finally, it is a beautiful day outside right now and all of the windows in this library are just showing me what I am missing out on. Sitting in Georgetown's library meant getting a glimpse of the outside world but no real constant taunting like I am getting right now. I just want to be past all of these things being due so I can enjoy the sun and go do fun stuff.

I do get to look forward to a little time in DC next week to help Liz and see Reagan for his birthday. Very excited since that should also be the end of my college career by then.

La la la, whatever, la la la, it doesn't matter, la la la, oh well

2011-04-25T00:15:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow I begin the last week of classes of my undergraduate career. It's strange to think about because the truth is that I can only tell you snapshots of what I will be doing next, like when I will be in Northern California for a wedding but I have no idea what my day to day life will be like after May 23rd. Part of me is okay with this but most of me knows that this is a very uncomfortable experience and I really just don't know how to cope with any of it. Right now I am stressed beyond belief because even though it feels like most of my school work is under control, it isn't totally under control and there are so many bigger questions that need answers.

This is one of the last posts I will write as a Lehigh blogger, the next post will inevitably be about the last loose ends of my semester and then maybe one about senior week/graduation but if you are lucky, maybe they will be two separate posts.

I am being all depressing because I can't sleep and I am excited for this week, there are still all sorts of things going on, events celebrating that we are seniors and such so that part is something worth looking forward to. Now if only I could get through the mountains for work first.

Spread the word in stereo At the speed of sound

2011-04-11T16:30:00.001-04:00

The last week has been insane! There has been so much going on but it was nice because I didn't have very many academic obligations.

I guess the most interesting things were all this past weekend with sorority activities, Candidate's Day and Sundaze, plus a visit from a friend who graduated last year.

Saying that I just had my FINAL sorority formal is really strange, we only have them once a year, meaning that I have only been to three but it still seems like such a giant ending. It was nice to get some time to just spend with friends and dance, having a good time because we won't have very much time together to do that.

This year, the nearest alumnae chapter of my sorority was also kind enough to have a senior service for us which welcomed us into the alumnae community which also had everyone in my pledge class announcing where they were going next year and it was kind of reassuring that there are still a fair number of people who don't know what comes next. These woman all have very different life experiences and it was really nice being able to meet all of them and get some great breakfast :). I hope they choose to continue this service in the future.

Candidate's Day is one of those events that seems so much the same every year even though there are always new people here. There are the kids who have no desire to be here for whatever reason who let their parents run everything and then there are the other kids who are super excited the entire time. I bet the bookstore makes bank those days, their bags are everywhere! I did get to talk to a lot of potential Economics majors which was really interesting. When I started at Lehigh, I thought I was going to be a marketing major or maybe even a dual degree but four years later, I don't think I would have been able to do as much outside the classroom if I had followed through with those plans. Some people have a defined course they want to take, others think they do but then college gives you the time to figure out exactly what you want and then you find a completely different path. It was cool meeting the future of Lehigh since for the first time, I won't be here when they are.

Sundaze is one of those experiences that I cannot figure out why I did not have previously. Seriously, I have been wracking my brain for weeks trying to figure out why I didn't go freshman or sophomore year. Although it was not sunny out, the weather was okay so it was fun. I got to spend the afternoon hanging out on Sayre Field with my friends and getting a lot of free stuff. What college kid turns down free stuff?

Okay now I have updated you all a bit but I have more things that I must be off to do, like find a grown-up job.

Smiled and said 'yes I think we've met before'

2011-03-28T09:14:00.001-04:00

So I shall start by saying that I have a test in two hours that I am thoroughly unprepared for but something just happened that I feel would be good to comment on here especially since I have been having writer's block lately when it comes to this blog.

So I just saw a kid look at me for a minute, then smile finally figuring out where he knew me from. We all experience those out of context sightings but college is different since in the back of our minds, we know that everyone else is a student to some extent, we see them in plain clothes most of the time but we all vary on what our attire is on a day to day basis meaning, for example, my laundry days are generally over the weekend so I will opt for sweats as opposed to the other people who go to class each day in sweats.

It is still strange to see someone you know from a club where they have power in a place like the library where they are working in a group or in class where they are no longer the ones in charge but rather have to listen to a higher power than themselves.

A few more quick things before I ensure that I get some studying done before this test (since that is the reason I woke up early, I was not ready for my alarm this morning). Had a really great weekend, spending time time with my sister, the Hirabayashi family, Meagan, Sean and seeing what the Annapolis social life was like. The last part was probably up there with the most interesting because it was so different from Lehigh's but I guess that is the fun with knowing people at other colleges, you get to see and experience different things by just going to visit and keeping up with old friends.

Okay, now I really have to study.

Riding on the Curl Straight into the Shore

2011-03-18T11:41:00.001-04:00

First and foremost, HAPPY FIRST BIRTHDAY CAMPBELL! I hope that my adorable cousin had a fantastic day with his grandma, parents and big brother.

Now for the usual Lehigh update. This week has been INSANE! I don't know if I have ever been so busy and things just kept coming that had to be taken care of. There were so many things I wish I could have had time for this week like a thorough enjoyment of St. Patrick's Day but they just didn't happen in the scope of trying to balance all of my other responsibilities.

We are less than ten weeks from graduation, it feels like a lifetime away on one hand but on the other, that is two and a half months which is nothing. I ordered my cap and gown and announcements yesterday which was a shocking reality of how close to the end I am. Senior year of college is like a more stressful version of senior year of high school, everyone asks what your plans for the following year are and most people have no idea how to answer that. The questions start coming even before senior year starts and you still have to worry about the balancing act of classes and other involvement in addition to looking for a job and updating all the necessary materials.

Everyone told me that my life would get easier after Vagina Monologues was over but I am still waiting for that day. To be honest, it's nice to not have the hold in my life because I am still doing all sorts of other things I love instead.

Okay, it's time to get back to my to do list.

It's a Brand New Day

2011-03-13T18:44:00.001-04:00

School starts again tomorrow. I got to spend a week in glorious weather to come back to cloudy blah. It was shockingly rocky on the boat which was different than what I was expecting. I am not one to get super motion sick but even I thought it was bad. The weather was fantastic minus the first day and the last day but the worst weather was the first day so it just got better. A whole day at sea down south meant everyone spent the whole day at the pool which was great.

Spring break was nice to hang out with friends, some I see a bunch and others who I haven't seen in ages but also meet some new people. There were a ton of other spring break kids on the boat so it was a lot of fun since there were a ton of other college kids around rather than only a ton of families.

Second semester is rough when we only have the one week off but it was glorious to have the time to relax We spent multiple days doing nothing but laying in the sun and reading. I love to read so I actually got a chance to kick back and read for fun. It was a chance I haven't gotten very often with other breaks because there were places to go and people to see. I didn't have to worry about anything this week other than sunscreen, there were a lot of very sunburned people on this cruise and it looked very painful. I currently have to catch up on a lot of TV shows from this week. Of course all my shows were on a mini hiatus the week before spring break and then I missed them all while I was gone. I have some work to do but it's not as much as past breaks.

I should apologize now for the spelling mistakes and other mistakes because I am still exhausted. The time change today was also a little rough knowing how much stuff I had to get done today but so far, I got some food, went grocery shopping and then started getting work done. There are so many things to do!

With that, I have to get some real homework done now.

Keep on moving through all this hustle

2011-03-03T13:27:00.000-05:00

Today I fell in love with a new album. It is Katie Costello's Lamplight and although I am a little behind on the times, her EP Cityscape. There are very few albums I can listen to from beginning to end without skipping any tracks partway through even on the first listen but hers has been the perfect soundtrack to my day from start to finish. I haven't flipped past a song yet which is mostly due to the amazing music and partly due to the desire to protect my hands from the freezing temperatures outside. I have heard Katie perform in person at a benefit my sister put on when Katie was a Junior in high school at my alma mater. It's hard to find artists these day who sound just as good in person as they do in their recorded music but she is one of those hard to find artists. From Facebook, it's obvious that her growing fame has not caused her to forget who she is as an artist and a person and she has kept her friends close even though she splits her time between two very distant cities. While I cannot claim to be a friend by any means, it's still pretty cool that we went to the same high school and I did have the pleasure of passing her in the halls during the two years we overlapped.

On to my life. I am finished with classes until after Spring Break which would normally be a liberating feeling but I have soooo much laundry to do (I have been pushing it off for a while...) that I won't have a chance to enjoy the freedom until all that and the packing gets done. Along with what seems to be half the school, my best friend and I are headed off on a cruise to get some sun. The dilemma with second semester is that we only get spring break meaning that we have to wait through seven weeks of class to get a break which is not a natural break in the semester to then come back and go back to full steam ahead for the next seven weeks before finals. I am convinced that this is a good portion of the reason second semester drags far more than first semester. The other reason is of course the weather but I will get to that in a minute. First semester, we get pacing break at the beginning of October and Thanksgiving at the end of November which splits the semester into three roughly equal parts which works with the testing system most teachers utilize. I got lucky and had no tests this week and none the week we get back so I sort of get away with not doing anything over the break. I will admit to having some classwork to finish but the likelihood of it getting done while I am on the boat is minimal.

Spring break seems to split students into two groups, the ones who head south with friends for what they hope to be a crazy week and the other who head home or to a friends with the intent of re-cooperating and refreshing for the rest of the semester, some of the latter group tries to get ahead or catch up on more independent work. I am happy to say that I think I fall in between the groups, I am going to get some sun but also get some rest.

Okay back to the weather. It has been a very tricky thing of late. Today, it was freezing, last week it was nice and sunny. I would like it to sort itself out. Almost all of the snow and ice has melted from the warmth of last week but it's time for winter to be over and for spring to come. It would be nice not to have to pile on a million layers to walk to class. I have shorts that I would really like to wear when I get back from spring break.

I think I have made up for the lag in posts with this monster post. Be back after spring break!

Leave all your love and your longing behind

2011-02-16T21:41:00.000-05:00

I now have to figure out what my new normal is. Our Vagina Monologues performances were this past weekend and that means that a lot of the stress and pressure is now off. All I have left is to wait for some more donations to come in from local businesses and families and complete a couple of follow-up reports. Other than that, I have a lot of things to do for classes and I got to start again at work this week. It should be an interesting time.

Producing Vagina Monologues taught me a lot about Lehigh that I never knew before. I have always known that Lehigh consisted of amazing people but I got to meet a lot more of those people. Friday was an incredibly stressful day but it helped that I had a ton of other people I had never met before helping to load my car and take a lot of the stress off. Throughout this process, people came out of the woodwork to help make things run more smoothly, whether it be to just come to an event to support friends or offer specials to help us raise money for our goal.

On Wednesday morning, I got to run around to a bunch of offices in Alumni Memorial to pass out hot chocolate in our specialty cups which mean I got to meet a lot of the staff I may not have met otherwise. It was a lot of fun because I don't know how often students venture into those offices without needing anything.

I have already raved about the Women's Center but seriously, they are AWESOME! I don't know if it is possible to find a more supportive group of people.

I have been distracted about a million times but I have to go now and tend to my other responsibilities.

I'm still the same

2011-02-07T13:51:00.000-05:00

The last few weeks have been insane with all of the things that needed to be accomplished for this week. Last week we had a snow day, that NEVER happens here where the whole university is closed. Teachers will cancel classes if there is bad weather but this is one of the only times the school made the choice. Lucky for me it was because there was a 3/4 inch of ice outside instead of snow. It was only lucky because I had been a little under the weather so if it was snow I would have gone out to play but since ice is no fun, I stayed inside, did a little work, hung out with my roommates and slept. I felt far better the next day as a result. I am still not back to 100% but far closer than I would have been if it had not been for the snow day.

This week is V-week, the week I have been working towards since last April. We have events scheduled everyday so I tried to get a lot of my work out of the way this weekend but I only mildly succeeded, there were more interesting things to be doing and people to be seeing. I did alleviate a little bit of the extra stress of this week though and am super excited to see my family this weekend.

Classes are still going. I don't have one class that I love like I usually do because it's hard taking classes which you are not ready for. By not ready for, I don't mean unprepared but rather I don't have the skills to make the class interesting or relevant. For example, GS is interesting but as a senior, I have kind of passed the level that is being taught to just through random other classes like Economic Development or my freshman English class.

Well, I should get going because I do have homework to get done before my speakers start today.

2AM and she calls me

2011-01-23T01:54:00.000-05:00

I know it has been forever since I have written anything but to be honest, nothing substantial has happened lately. I turned 22 on Tuesday, and it was a good day. I got to spend time with a number of my favorite people.

This has been the most exhausting first week of classes ever. The weather has not been my best friend lately. There is so much snow and ice! It is not fun to slip up the street but campus has been pretty easy to navigate which has been really nice.

I am still working at Academic Outreach which is a lot of fun and despite the insane scheduling issues I seem to be having, I refuse to give up any of my time in that office.

I know it's really late but I have been trying to get some work done since I hung out with friends last night, had all sorts of welcome back retreats this morning and have a full day of VM things tomorrow. We are about to start our hardcore fund-raising efforts for the cause soon. We are starting t-shirt sales and tickets and it's all coming together, now we just need money :)

My parents are coming in less than a month although my mother will also be on the east coast next weekend to hang out with Reagan and Campbell, (I am soooo jealous)but I am starting to plan all of the places that we are going to eat while they are here.

I am very all over the place right now because I am exhausted but I hope that I can update later on more of life.

2010-12-13T15:12:00.000-05:00

So here we are, fall semester finals again. Hard to believe that I started writing this two years ago.

Well, the weather is a little cold, snow has been coming on and off but nothing stuck yet so I feel like we are probably in for a bad winter when I get back in January through sometime around Spring Break. I am just hoping that the weather holds long enough for me to get home without too many delays.

This might be the least stressful finals period I have ever had in my life. I only have a paper and one test spread out over a week. Despite finals being a week later than they used to be, I get to get home before too much of the Christmas travel hits. My last test is Friday night and the paper I am supposed to be working on right now (I have been surprisingly productive today) is due tomorrow so they are nicely spaced.

Linderman is incredibly crowded right now but I have my coffee and a comfy chair so I should be good to go for another few hours of work before dinner with a friend and video games. That's not true... I will probably take an extended break soon and finish this paper between dinner and video games. I only have two pages to go. Remember when that used to be long paper? I also remember when all my teachers told me that I would always write papers that were at least 10 pages long plus citations in college. Truth: I can count the number of papers I have written solo of that length or longer on one hand. No teacher wants to grade a full classroom's worth of really long papers. The only type of paper I have worked on that was consistently longer than ten pages would be group papers because there was maybe only four to eight groups in the class. I love all of the strange things that teachers tell you about the next school you get to ie when you learn cursive, the teachers tell you that you will always use it but in fact it's nice to know but it is rarely used.

Okay enough distraction. Back to work.

Happy Holidays!

2010-12-05T13:44:00.000-05:00

Yesterday it started to flurry. This brings out very mixed feelings because as much as I like the snow, it means that it will keep getting colder which I am not a fan of. The good thing about fall semester though is that the cold keeps me inside which means that I am slightly more productive during finals time because it was far more comfortable to be curled up in the library with some hot chocolate or other warm drink and a book or laptop than in the spring when it is so much nicer to be sprawled outside getting tan and then trying to get work done.

This is the start of the last week of classes which is probably the most difficult week of the semester because while some classes end in finals, others end in projects or papers which are almost always due at the end of the semester. This coming week, I have a group paper, an individual paper and two group presentations which is really hard because as a result of all the groups, that means that we have meetings on top of everything else. The nice thing is that after Friday, I have a fairly chill week in comparison since I just have a final paper and a final.

I am looking forward to having a break from school to recharge and spend some time with my family and friends from home. I get to be here for just under two more weeks before it is back to the slightly warmer weather. I have all sorts of sweaters to look forward to using.

The first four weeks of next semester are going to be really rough but I can look forward to spending my final undergraduate semester with my friends and having a very chill second half of the semester, which will be a nice departure from right now. Well, back to work on my paper!

Another Turning Point

2010-11-11T20:26:00.000-05:00

Today is Veteran's day, by many other students, it is a day the is marked by a lack of school and celebrated for that reason. We don't get the day off but it wasn't until this year that I really began to understand the significance of this holiday. It's weird because between now and next Veteran's day, life will be drastically different. Right now, if I know soldiers, they are friends of friends or friends of my parents but this time next year, it will be my best friend serving our country. Regardless of what people do in the military, the point is that they are ready and willing to serve our country with everything they have. I don't really know what else to say because these men and especially the woman are so incredibly awesome.

I feel like I have nothing else to say on that subject without rambling or getting too emotional so on to other current issues.

I had to register for my final semester of college classes. I have to petition for graduation (everyone has to, it is not because I am missing something, Mom) before March and before I know it, I will be on the field in a cap and gown with my friends. I would like to think that I am ready for all that.

Side note, I realized that I have given more tours in the last two weeks than I usually have in all of first semester. But they have been a lot more fun than usual which is great and totally worth it!

Okay, now I am really using this as an excuse not to be writing my GC reflection paper which is due tomorrow before I go into work. I am being responsible. I ate dinner before I started work and have Harry Potter on now.

Keep my head up i know I'll be fine

2010-11-08T21:56:00.000-05:00

The first Vagina Monologues meeting was yesterday and it was awesome! I am super excited about our cast because I think that we have enough bonding events planned that they will gel as a group which is most of the fun of being a part of the show. I was worried that people wouldn't be happy with their parts but on the whole, most people are satisfied which is a load off my mind because I don't want to have anyone be discontent. Becca and I still have worries about the show but knowing that we have a cast that looks to be pretty dedicated makes life a lot easier. It's weird to see how my involvement has changed my college career with regards to VM. I started it because it was something my ex was passionate about, and made it through a crazy year with all sorts of drama surrounding the show to the point where I almost decided not to do it again. But, I knew the producers my sophomore year and they were awesome girls so I figured that I might as well. Then I went away and found an e-mail offering me this opportunity and I couldn't imagine my senior year without it now.

Honestly, there has been so much going on that I can barely think straight about everything that has happened lately. The most significant change in the past few weeks (besides having a cast) was that STAR Academy started again. STAR brings in children from the local community who need an extra push to be successful members of society. The program has Lehigh students (or STAR graduates) tutor for an hour and half about two Saturdays a month. This is program I have been involved in throughout all of my Lehigh time and has allowed me to make all sorts of new friends. I had the same tutee for the first three years but she graduated last June (very proud of her) and is now continuing her education elsewhere. My new tutee is a senior in high school so we are starting the application process all over again. It's more exciting to be doing that then looking for a job right now.

Now I need to go dig through my basement to see if I still have books from freshman year to write my capstone paper.

We R Who We R

2010-11-04T23:08:00.000-04:00

I don't really know what to say but I guess I can just make you aware of the random things that I have learned over the past few weeks.

1. 96 is the ideal number of people for marching band formations so our band has 97 for formations plus a drum major

2. Student Auxiliary Services are very nice people

3. I have to register for my final undergraduate semester NEXT WEEK.

4. I have not been so good at the talking on my tours, my throat hurts after I finish giving them but a lot of them are still fun, especially when I get questions.

5. I AM ON TRACK TO GRADUATE.

Okay, now I am going to bed. Will post more when I am not so tired.

You're Not Thinking About Tomorrow

2010-10-23T14:45:00.000-04:00

I always mean to post more and then I get distracted (as usual) and somehow forget. So more thoughts with numbers so that there is some reason in the chaos of things I want to talk about.

1. My mom thinks I should write about the things I learned in high school that have most benefited me in college. I want to but that would need to be another post entirely and I think that is a unique experience because it was more the life lessons I learned both in the classroom and outside during those years that helped most rather than the by the book educational things.

2. We had Vagina Monologues auditions this week which means that the show is coming together. Slowly but surely, it's becoming something more than a really long to do list. The to do list is huge but everything is an exciting prospect. I spent more time in the Women's Center this week then ever before but it is still awesome. One of my friends asked me how I knew so many people as I said hi to what felt like a billion people that I knew from the copious time I spend at the Women's Center. They are genuinely awesome people to spend time with and even being a senior, it's been really nice getting to know new people.

3. Pacing Break has come and gone. It never feels like long enough since it is only two days but at the same time, I was going to take advantage because I would rather have one much longer weekend than two three day weekends. I went to DC to babysit some of the cutest kids I know. Campbell and Reagan are amazing and I know I will never have kids of my own who are as great as the two of them are, young as they are. My mom also came out to babysit with me and then play tourist for a little while and then stayed through the following weekend for Parent's Weekend with my younger sister. Mom and I went to the International Spy Museum. It was AWESOME! And that is saying that as my 21 year old self and not as my six year old inner child. It is not by any means a boring museum nor is it geared towards children since the history of conflicts are needed to understand the importance of the espionage roles.

4. We are over half way finished with the semester (I think, it gets confusing) but this year is already flying by. It feels like each new semester goes faster than the last. Although spring semester drags while we are in it because of the cold. There is still so much to accomplish this semester!

5. This weekend is young alumni which has been fun seeing the people who have graduated relatively recently all come back and return to college for the weekend. While work has put a damper on being able to spend as much time with them as I would like, it's just been nice to see them all.

Okay so I think this is enough of a break from my essay and I should really get back to it. Although it has been good fun reflecting on all of the things that have happened since the last time I sat down and wrote but I am hoping that between this time and the next, there is not such a lag.

I Wanna Jump in the Cold Water

2010-09-24T23:49:00.000-04:00

I have not been good about updating this and for that, I apologize but I have had a lot going on and no real time to sit down and write about it. This might also have been the most literal title I have ever used. So, things I have to say about life right now:
1. This weather is insane. It goes from pouring rain to really hot within hours. I don't want it to be fall yet because then it gets too close to the real cold but this heat is a little ridiculous. It's back to be being too hot to sleep! Maybe that's just me though... Also, my room tends to be warmer than the rest of my house and we can't really figure out why.

2. I now live in the Women's Center. I really wish I had discovered it earlier! Today I got to make buttons, like turn them from paper circles into full pins. It's surprisingly awesome despite how lame it sounds. The people who work there (because you don't have to be a woman to work in the Women's Center) are fantastic. They are funny and silly and just great people to be around.

3.I feel like I might be falling behind on Vagina Monologues things but I don't know what I could be doing differently. We got our scripts this week and started pushing people to sign up for auditions and getting forms which is all super exciting. We are really looking for support and ways to get people to donates something! Whether that something is time or items or monetary support, we just know that we have a lot of options to help us fund-raise. Our goal seems reachable but it's still daunting.

4. I love my roommates. Or I guess housemates would be a better term for them since that is what they are. We have been hanging out playing video games, watching TV together (especially crazy wedding shows) and then just getting "stuck" downstairs. By stuck I mean going downstairs on a mission and then taking forever to make it back upstairs because we get distracted by spending time with each other.

5. Classes are going pretty well, they are not that different from other semesters. I don't have one class that I am in love with like I usually do that but I don't know if that is because I am lacking classes that I truly dislike also so on a relative basis, they are all good.

I guess that is all I really have to say tonight. The heat is making me distracted because all I want to do is jump in the shower and then try to get some sleep before I overheat again. Well, for tonight, I shall be going.

A Moment, A Laugh

2010-09-07T21:10:00.000-04:00

I actually have time to sit and write something! I know it's been a while since I have written an actual update as to what has been going on but the truth is that there has been a lot. I am co-producing Lehigh's production of The Vagina Monologues this year and while the show might now be until February, there is a lot to be done before we can even work on getting together a cast. Being producer was never something I thought was a possibility but so far, it's been pretty amazing and I know it's going to be even more work than it has been already but it will also get even better as we get more people involved with all the new ideas that my co-producer and I hope to incorporate into our show.

Other things, classes have started. Senioritus exists already but nowhere near as badly as it did in high school. Maybe because I don't have a job yet or maybe because I am more engaged with my classes now than I was in high school. It's going to be a good year academically. The new STEPS building is awesome. I am a little sad that I don't have a class in there. I might have to schedule an elective there just for fun next semester.

It's been really nice being back, seeing people I haven't seen in six months, meeting people from all the organizations that I am rejoining as time has passed. This is shaping up to be a really great semester. Stay tuned for how things shape up to be.

Let's Get Together

2010-08-29T23:49:00.001-04:00

Senior year starts tomorrow and to be honest, I am finally psyched. There is a ton to do that is all super exciting and at this point, almost all of my friends are back and it has been amazing seeing all of them as well as meeting a ton of new people. I missed out on recruitment last year so I am catching up on meeting our new pledge class and so far, they seem like a really great group of girls.

My room is still a bit of a disaster zone for now but a light week of class for now should make that a little bit easier to fix, trying to make sure that I can stay focused and not watch "How I Met Your Mother" instead.

And it happened... I got distracted... I got to talk to my roommates (they are seriously awesome) and then started watching more DVDs. So I will leave it with this for now, because to be honest, it's almost midnight and I have senior things to do tomorrow before I really start class but it's kind of an anti-climactic last first day of school. Still, my schedule this semester, is awesome.

2010-07-01T13:25:00.000-04:00

It has been a really strange summer so far and it is bound to stay this way. The main reason that this is so weird is that part of me feels like this is not my home anymore. Most of my high school friends are not sticking around as they are paying higher rent than I am and as a result are living in their apartments/houses. I came home thinking I needed a break from being in new places, but now I wonder if I should have just appreciated my summer before the "real world" starts. My life is split between being here, back at school and a little in DC. I am thinking that if I choose to get a job, DC might be the best place for me, specifically, somewhere on the red line would great. It's strange feeling like I have no real place to call home anymore. Is home where my parents are or is it someplace else? School is home in a more general sense because I move from room to room each year.

Part of me is ready for the next year but the uncertainty of what follows scares me. I have no idea what I want to do. Do I want to get a job and push off grad school if I go at all? Do I want to go to grad school for a degree that I probably can't pay off? Do I want a job in the profit world where while I might make more, I may not be as happy? Or, if I get a job I love at a non-profit, can I afford rent?

My sister just graduated from high school, the same one I did and I realized that I will probably never have to set foot on that campus again and it was a bittersweet feeling. There were good times and bad had on that campus but it's no longer meant for me. She's going to start college (not a Lehigh but another great school) and eventually, I think she is going to start feeling what I am about being divided. Last night I told her she scares my friends because they only know about her graduating and remember her as a little kid rather than who she is now. It still scares me that she drives but I know what they mean because I feel the same way about their siblings. Liz then told me I scare her friends for the same reason she scares mine. Scare them? Right..... Try scaring myself. People I graduated high school with are done with college already. I could be done with college already. It's like going to camp on the first day, scary but exciting all at the same time. I miss camp and all that it is as a little bubble.

Well, I am at work and am now going to go finish putting labels on binder tabs.

Roll out those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer

2010-06-15T23:57:00.000-04:00

First of all, sorry that it has been forever since I last updated this. It's been a hectic couple of weeks. Since I last posted here, I finished my semester at Georgetown and moved back to Lehigh before coming home for the summer.

Since coming home, I was working at my usual camp in the office to pass the time because it was impossible to go from doing a million things at once to not doing anything. After about three weeks of that, I went on a cruise to Alaska and had a really good time. It was probably the most exhausting vacation I have ever been on. I came home and slept for more than 15 hours! I never do that.

So I went back to camp for a week and then yesterday started my internship. I don't really know how it's going to go but everyone has been really nice and I know that I am going to learn a lot.

I really can't wait to get back to Lehigh. There are so many new things going on and I am ready to get started already!

I'm heading out to Philly for my cousin's wedding and am frustrated that I can't get to Lehigh to visit even just for a little while. I am however, enjoying the guacamole made possible by the abundance of good avocados in Southern California.

Join the crowd of aging beards a'many

2010-04-10T15:23:00.000-04:00

For some reason, this past semester has caused me to have a lot of discussions about mustaches. I think it's because one of my co-workers is growing one which has led me to pay more attention to the people around me with them and has also led to all the interns looking up pictures of the mustache competition. We have also been led onto events like the mustache growing competition to raise money for charity. I guess I wad finally prompted to discuss this because I just saw a man in the library coffee shop with a beard i just don't understand. I am not a fan of facial hair at all and as a result I have great respect for the wives of these bearded men. I also just don't understand. A well groomed beard or mustache can be fine, but I don't get it when they are not well groomed and just look gross. It is still hair, and like the hair on your head, it should be neat if you want to be taken seriously. There are very few men that need facial hair, some really do or else they look way too young but for the vast majority, it is unnecessary.

So more about this library. It can be really frustrating sometimes because there are so many places to study but there are only a limited number of outlets. It can be very frustrating since most computer batteries don't last very long. I understand that there are certain places that are perceived to be okay for it to talk. That is fine, but the privilege shouldn't be abused. In Linderman, it is okay to talk a little and whisper but no one yells like they do here. The other night, it was so loud, it was impossible to hear myself think and I have a very loud thinking voice. It was probably a good thing that I wasn't doing real work at the time. To actually get some work done, I have to go hide in the lowest level of the library where my phone doesn't work and there are very few outlets. It might be easier to concentrate here but that doesn't mean I get very much done anyway... I am kind of a procrastinator, if we didn't figure this out already.

I'm super excited to see some family next weekend! Actually, all sorts of family, some of whom I haven't seen in a while. Plus, I get to hang out with my favorite two and half year old.

Do I really have to graduate?

2010-03-28T22:58:00.000-04:00

So our class schedule for next semester came out this week. Normally, I love this time of the semester. It's so full of opportunities to learn something new and there is the whole puzzle about how to get everything you need at the best times. I know I'm a dork but it's kind of fun.

This semester is different though. I am going to be a senior. Talk about scary. I technically need 23 credits in order to graduate which means that I actually get to take a real free elective. I might take something with friends but who knows, I could also just take a light schedule with only what I need and then focus on all of the other exciting things that I have going on next year.

Through talking to other people about scheduling while I have been here and as I have previously mentioned, I really appreciate Lehigh's scheduling and registration process. At Georgetown, from what I understand, they pre-register for classes meaning that they make requests of the class they want and then the registrar makes the schedule for you. Changes can be made at the start of the semester but I feel like this is confusing and a lot can happen those first few days. Who wants to be behind before they have started?

My co-worker from Australia told me that at his school, he chose his courses and then the registrar would make the times work for as many people as possible so you would know what classes you were taking but you didn't know what times until later.

I like the system that we have that most people register on their designated night at 10:00 and know exactly what they are taking by 10:05 unless something went wrong and schedules must be reworked. We have time to sort out our classes until about ten days into the following semester and the registrar maintains the right to change the class times but I have never heard of that happening. It's nice to have it all figured out and plan extracurricular activities accordingly.

Graduation already seems to be looming in the distance, fast encroaching on the life I love I can only imagine how I am going to feel throughout the next year. I thoroughly plan on making a bucket list with my housemates to accomplish everything we want to before graduation but there is so much that needs to be done! I have to admit that I haven't made a huge effort in the past but starting with this semester, I have tried to make more of an effort to experience things and have no regrets. I went to the cherry blossom festival yesterday which made me miss Lehigh more, not because of the cherry blossoms themselves but because by taking the entire afternoon to take a long walk and go see things, I came back to a really heavy feeling of stress with all of the things I have to do as a shadow over the experience. What frustrates me is that when I get an assignment at Lehigh, most of the time it really matters that I do it, usually for the educational content. Semester long projects are usually done in steps. I currently have projects that I am attempting to work on for the entire semester, but there is no time! I mean, I have class from 9-3 with only an hour break on Mondays and Fridays, I work 9-5 on Tuesdays through Thursdays and then have class from 6-8 on Mondays and Wednesdays. By the time I get back to my room, I am exhausted. I barely have time to do laundry or clean my room, let alone work on my research paper. That exhaustion continues to the weekend when no matter how much sleep I try to get, something always needs to be done and something is always more pressing than my paper. Now, we have group debates and another paper for a different class which all require the same amount of time each week as my research paper. Maybe this is why Georgetown gives so much time off? They know that students need to recuperate more often from the insane amounts of time spent on school work. I honestly don't know what I would do without this four day weekend coming up, especially because in theory I can take Thursday off from work but I would rather go to work than procrastinate all day and work is less exhausting then classes. I like that Lehigh professors seem to have a better sense of balance and while we might have one or two bad weeks with a lot of stress, that tends to lend to another couple of weeks with a far lighter load.

Now I must go and write my debate speech for tomorrow. Whoop de doo.

Little Darling, the smiles returning to the faces

2010-03-16T23:38:00.000-04:00

Since I have been in DC, I have started skimming the headlines of the New York Times almost every morning on the bus. I have watched my friends get increasingly frustrated by their schools and heard about the thousands of students who have tried to change the way their education is being handled.

I am so glad I don't have that to deal with. Yes, Lehigh is a private school but you can get out in four years if you pay attention. One of the things that is driving me crazy this summer is that I pay for tuition and a meal plan and housing but that doesn't cover everything that I need to get by. It seems like a really small thing but the fact that Lehigh doesn't charge for printing is privilege that I will be thankful for from now on. There, I don't have to strain my eyes reading page after page of information I need for a paper either on the computer or in a minuscule font that I was forced to use to not have it cost me a fortune to print. Their system of what I can use my dining dollar equivalents for makes no sense and is just annoying. Plus, food off campus is far more expensive than around Lehigh but there are pretty much similar types of options if you know where to look.

I know this is starting to sound all complainy so I am going to stop.

Lehigh is beautiful around this time. The snow is melting (or completely melted in some cases) and all the green is coming out again, and the flowers get planted and you can wear dresses again. Whoo, it really is one of the best times of year. I got to wear a dress and sandals after work today!

Oh Lehigh, how I miss thee. Oh by the way, did I mention we are going to the NCAA tournament! SOOO EXCITED TO WATCH MY SCHOOL!

Deep Beneath the Cover of Another Perfect Wonder

2010-02-06T23:02:00.001-05:00

I have never seen so much snow in my life. This area got 20-30 inches of snow. Reminder, I am not at Lehigh this semester so I have no idea how much snow they got. I made my first great snow angel and the snow was so powdery, trying to move through it meant I sank in past my knees. Being a Southern California native, I never got to experience the childhood snow memories so part of me is making them up now with snowmen and snowball fights with friends. Call me what you wish but holding on to a small part of my childish side sometimes is just good, clean fun.

That wasn't going to be the original focus of what I was going to talk about today but the truth is that I have had a lot of different ideas over the past few weeks about what to write about. Not many people have the chance to study at another university in the US and know for sure that they can go back to Lehigh at the end. So far I have learned that as much as I knew it before, I picked the right school for me to spend the majority of my four year, undergraduate experience.

Our program is in no way reflective of a typical Georgetown schedule but it's weird to me to have night classes offered across the board and be so widely accepted. I love that Lehigh tends to limit the scheduling to between the hours of 8-4 allowing us to be involved in other aspects of campus life as well as our classes. Although I didn't have to participate, the process of getting classes also seems far more stressful as I watched my roommate have to deal with changing her schedule and the waitlist process. By having each class register a different night, it allows for instant (well almost, the internet moves slower that night than any other night of the year)registration so you know immediately if you got into the class because it's all based on when you hit submit rather than the preregistration process. It obviously works for them but it's all very strange to me.

One of the things I miss most about Lehigh is the architecture of what I view as the main quad consisting of Alumni Memorial. the UC, Linderman, the church and Packer lab. It all seems so cohesive and gorgeous. Georgetown has some amazing buildings that are old and beautiful but the lack of cohesion taints the landscape a little bit. Although they do win with a flat place to have a great snowball fight and build an amazing snowman.

I have a lot more to say on a wide variety of topics but for now, I have to go and get some reading done for Monday so I can spend some more time enjoying the snow tomorrow.

I'll Find My Way Back To You

2010-01-14T19:16:00.002-05:00

So it's been over a month since I have posted and I apologize for that. Quick recap on my life:
1. I finished the first semester of my junior year and I think it was pretty successful;
2. I am on leave this semester to participate in Georgetown's Semester in Washington program which I will describe in a little bit;
3. I went home for winter break.

First, I chose to take a semester off because I needed to take a break from going to classes everyday and this program allows me to intern Tuesday through Thursday each week so that I have a change a pace for a little while which will hopefully reinvigorate my desire to learn back at Lehigh in the fall. All of that, and I would really like to have enough classes for a full senior year. The facet that I am over halfway finished with my undergraduate experience is truly terrifying and I am really not happy about this.

I have been a Georgetown student for two days and there are already things that I miss terribly about Lehigh. The first would be Linderman. I guess I unknowingly assumed that most old schools would have old libraries, unfortunately not the case. I miss the beauty and comfort of Linderman, where the modernity of the renovations fit with the restorations of its original essence. I don't know what I am going to do without such a gorgeous place to study for the semester.

I also miss that printing is included in tuition and an abundance of public printers. Seriously amazing perk that I definitely took for granted the last five semesters. I actually had to go buy a printer today and even then, it can't auto double side like the ones at school. I mean, call me a nerd that I really do miss the printers at Lehigh but I do!

On the other hand, I think that personally, I needed to take the semester off to truly appreciate the education that I am getting at Lehigh as well as the experience. I am here and it is going to be a lot of work and a very different kind than I am used to but I guess that's going to be a good thing.

I have wasted sufficient time writing this since I have a ton of reading to do tonight for class tomorrow morning. ;)

There's No Place I'd Rather Be

2009-12-05T15:36:00.002-05:00

So I was sitting in the same library when I started writing this blog about a year ago. I discussed the first big snow of the year and it just so happens, that might be today since it has been snowing for the last few hours. It's weird though since it hasn't been that cold this week which was nice for the last week of classes. But here we are, getting ready for finals, two very odd weeks. There are some really great things that happen during this period of time like my house's traditional Christmas dinner where our chef dresses up as Santa and gives gifts to all of the sisters or the simple fact that we have no school for a month. This year though is very bittersweet for me since I am taking next semester to participate in a different kind of adventure.

I chose to leave Lehigh for next semester knowing that I would miss things like the new pledge class that would enter my sorority, all of the fun things my friends and I would usually do in the spring as well as some of the interesting classes that may not be offered at another feasible time. On the other hand, I also have friends who are going abroad to study in interesting place like Prague and have their own set of interesting adventures and I don't know what Lehigh would be like without my complete set of friends.

It's a little bit scary, the prospect of leaving Lehigh for a short taste of the real world even knowing that I will be back in about six months but since I don't want to think about it anymore, I will think about new things, like the paper I should be writing right now.

Good times never seem so good

2009-11-13T11:03:00.002-05:00

So I am working with a girl from a local high school on her college applications this semester. She and I have been working together since my freshman year of college which was her sophomore year of high school. Her goals have changed a lot in that time and she makes me laugh on a regular basis as we try to brave through the college application process together. One day she asked me what made it worth it and that got me thinking.

We all go to college to get a degree, a piece of paper that is supposed to somehow make our lives have greater value but really, I think it's the lessons we learned outside of the classroom that have enhanced our value. By moving away from home, we have to learn to be on our own and fight our own battles rather than letting our parents fight for us, even if the battle is something as minor the pile of clothing taking over the room. We learn to lead, we learn to follow, we learn to ask for help, and we learn how to deal with a wide array of different types of people.

I participated in a prospective student chat a couple of weeks ago and lots of students ask why I chose Lehigh or what makes Lehigh special and the truth is that I chose Lehigh because of the feeling I got when I was here, there was no doubt that it was the right place, the people would go out of their way to help me even though I was a junior in high school at the time. The advice I gave my younger sister as she navigates the process is that you can choose where to apply using all the facts like size and statistics but in the end, the real choice is made because of something inexplicable. I was more excited the day the Lehigh acceptance showed up than when I got any other letter and knew that it was going to be an amazing four years and I wouldn't trade the experience I have been having for anything in the world.

I am still having trouble coping with the fact that I am almost finished with a full two and half years, I wish college was longer just so I could spend more time enjoying Lehigh and all of the traditions it has to offer. Lehigh/Laf is next week :) and if you haven't heard about that, you will.

Now off to deal with my to do list.

I do my little turn on the catwalk

2009-10-27T18:17:00.001-04:00

I have been thinking about what people wear and while most people might just jump to the assumption that this could all be about labels and designers, I was thinking more about the sheer kinds of things we wear around campus. This was mostly prompted by the very odd weather we have been experiencing.

For me, the second it gets cold, sneakers are the first thing that change yet all over campus there are tons of people still wearing sandals. Today, it rained and although it was kind of warm in the morning, it got colder as the day yet people were still outside in shorts and t-shirts. After almost two and half years, I still don't get it.

Unlike other schools though, the cool thing is that Lehigh kids tend to show their school spirit on a day to day basis rather than just at sporting events or other sanctioned functions. What I mean is that everyone is always wearing Lehigh gear and when you wear clothes from another school, people tend to give you funny looks. It is not uncommon for people to be dressed in brown from head to toe and while I feel that most schools might see that as taboo, it just happens to be one of the ways we show our spirit.

Walking around campus at this time of year is made more fascinating by the number of people who are in suits for interviews. Because of the timing of classes, many tend to go to classes dressed up and then work their interviews into the normal pattern of their day. Those are then juxtaposed with the others who roll out of bed, grab a pair of jeans and run to class.

I have now said what I can think of right now and really have to go study.

And I started staring at the passengers waving goodbye

2009-10-19T21:04:00.001-04:00

Right now is kind of a scary time for me. I am almost halfway through my junior year. This means that I have passed my halfway point of college and it feels different. Rather than getting involved in new things, I find myself getting more involved in the things that I am already doing. I am also not studying at Lehigh this spring so I am spending as much time with my friends as possible before that time.

Finding my program for next semester was an interesting experience. I wanted to gain some more hands on experience than a summer internship could provide so I decided to go to Washington DC and intern there. It was one of those things that I found on a bulletin board and just took a chance on looking into and found the same excitement I found when looking at Lehigh's website after I got in.

I am a Lehigh tour guide and try to stay involved in admissions so I meet a lot of prospective students and seeing them as well as the fact that my sister is currently a senior in high school and I'm jealous. They have an amazing experience ahead of them where ever they end up but I would be even more jealous if they ended up at Lehigh. There are so many things to experience, there is no way to fit them all into one four-year experience.

Now, being a junior means that I have to get back to the piles of work that I have to do. :)

She Used To Be My Enemy

2009-09-21T23:15:00.001-04:00

I have been thinking about how to write about this for a very long time and to be honest, I am starting it without knowing 100% where it's going to go.

Today, I decided to write about my number one reader. I don't think I ever told this person that I was writing this since it just kind of happened but since she found out from a relative, I am pretty sure she checks this on a regular basis and hasn't become a follower for fear of embarrassing me. She may not comment here, but she still tells me what she thinks. Haven't guessed who this is yet?

It's my mom.

My mom constantly reminds me that it was a good idea to leave the people I went to high school with and try living in a new place where I couldn't run home every time I had a problem (like that pesky thing called laundry). She is endlessly supportive and puts up with me which I don't always understand. In my mind, she is an amazing parent and I couldn't ask for a better mom, she keeps me grounded and I trust her with everything.

Facebook for parents is becoming more popular and I will admit that I made them for both of my parents. My mother's initially started after my trip to India because it was the best way to show off all of my pictures. Now, she keeps in contact with her own friends but still has full access to my facebook. With all of the things that are broadcast about the questionable things that happen and then get posted on facebook, it makes me think, would I want my mother to see that? She will not only see it, she will comment on it. Sometimes in college we forget that there is a real world outside the bubble that we experience everyday but things like that keep me grounded.

Yes, sometimes parents drive us crazy with the seven billion ways that they can reach us (just ask my sister, it seems to drive her crazier than it does me) and we forget how support they really are but they never cease to surprise us.

College changes our relationships with our parents and in my case, I would like to think it's for the better. Eh, my mom will probably tell you that too since claims I got nicer when I went to college. She also will probably laugh at the title but also not realize the song its from. I really didn't have the energy to be creative with the title and most of the other lines in that song were too long, too weird or way too sappy and then she really would have not been happy with me and I have to see her in about a week.

But beyond where we should have gone?

2009-09-08T14:47:00.001-04:00

So I am sitting here, in Linderman Library,trying to imagine what college would be like without all of the technology that runs my life. Today, I woke up to the alarm on my phone, and then checked my facebook before putting on my iPod to walk to class. I know other people who use their computers to take notes but I am still committed to being the one to hand write all of my notes since it actually helps me retain all of the things that I am writing. My next class requires not one but two calculators to make sure that I can actual do the work without it taking what I deem to be forever. All of this and I have checked my phone for e-mail, texts and time updates probably about a dozen times.

Without the technology that we have today, I would not have been able to have done all of my work for the first half of the week by Monday night without seeing my group members since it was all done via e-mail not to mention that I am available constantly by phone. I know and remember a time when cell phones were not anywhere near as popular as they are today but now, it seems pretty near impossible to function without one.

I guess I was thinking about this to really ponder if education has gotten any better as a result of all of this technology. I mean, for the most part, we still have classes where we meet face to face with a professor. The professor might be easier to get a hold of but when we have problems, we still want to schedule time to work out to see them in person. I guess what I am trying to say is that sometimes all of this technology is overwhelming (and the "Ten Things I Hate About You" quote comes to mind whenever I say that word) but I still have to look for moments when I know that humanity will win out and technology won't win. Video chatting is great and all but it's not as good as seeing someone.

Okay, so I think I lost my point a little in there but I have to go give a tour now and then the rest of the day is a little insane but good bye for now.

that it´s all for the best?

2009-08-28T17:58:00.002-04:00

Everyone I have talked to about the simple fact that I write this has told me that I should write about something different. I guess I will touch on the two main things that most people suggested that I talk about and then as usual, see where things go.

First, my summer experience with Lehigh in Ireland. There are tons of universities that have study abroad programs but it appears that Lehigh is unique in the way this program is offered. It was six weeks of research, and four weeks of classes all while living in Galway. I LOVED GALWAY. It was a beautiful city with a lot going on without too many people. I will eventually go back which is different than I have felt about a number of other places I have been to in the past. The other groups that were there didn't seem to have the one point professor there like we did and their accommodations were not as nice as ours. It was a really good adventure and it seemed that we had a lot more fun than a lot of the other groups.

Second, my younger sister is applying to college this year. While I was moving into my new room at Lehigh, she was traveling the east coast with my dad. She is looking for a very different school than I was when I was at this point in the process. Granted, I guess I always knew I was going to end up at Lehigh but it's interesting to hear her critique of everything about the schools. I am a tour guide on campus and I know that my tours can really shape the perceptions students walk away from Lehigh with and to be honest, that idea terrifies me. I really believe that everyone has to find their own deciding factor that causes them to fall in love with a school. My sister came back from all of these college tours and reminded me that no one wants to hear about why security features were started at the school even if it is part of the school's history.

Okay so as usual, I am very distracted right now so I have to go but this was the first week of classes so it was insane.

The Time is Right...

2009-05-01T14:56:00.004-04:00

So it has been a whole semester since I starting writing this and I have found myself at finals time again. I have to say this may have been the most stressful finals period yet, but I still have two tests to go.

The fact that this year is over is both relief and a very scary idea. I am halfway done with my college experience.

To be honest, I just got really distracted by the Lehigh 2013 facebook group. They talked about GC which I love since it really is probably one of the best things I could have gotten involved in here. The truth is that my favorite things about these groups are the lies that somehow get spread around about Lehigh. There is nothings bad about these lies, it's just interesting to see the way that these incoming students perceive different things and then seeing how the students like myself who are current students have to redirect them to the reality of the situation. It makes me laugh.

Okay, this has been enough of a distraction, it's time I get back to work for finals. Soooo close to being done, I can taste it!

Tried My Best At Moving On....

2009-04-12T22:57:00.003-04:00

It's been a while since I have updated this but sometimes it's rough! School is starting to wind down which makes everything even more stressful since there are tons of projects. I feel that in other semesters, I have had a combination of papers, final projects and final tests but this semester is different. Rather than having group projects to end class, my classes this semester have final group projects as well as a final exam. I like the idea of more available points but it does make for more work.

My first post on this blog was about my love for finals period and the serenity that comes over campus while everyone studies. This semester will be more stressful because of my test schedule but I still look forward to spending more time in the library with my friends and using all of my extra dining dollars. :)

This week will be very very very long. The second to last week of classes marks Greek Week, the most fun week of second semester. First semester, we have Lehigh/Laf and it's second semester equivalent is Greek Week but personally, I am more involved in all of the activities of Greek Week. There are all sorts of competitions throughout the week and everyone is psyched for the ending of classes. The problem with the next week is that it is the last week that non-finals can be administered. Personally, I have a huge test Wednesday and a paper due Friday. I am really going to try to finish all of my paper before Thursday morning which gives me time to study as well as to enjoy the last few days of Greek Week before going into finals mode to make sure that I do well on my finals.

Okay, random note. While I write this, I am watching a show called "Platinum Wedding" and I think it's a little insane that this couple spent 1.2 million dollars just on their wedding. I think that I would rather spend that much on a very nice house instead.

I Need to Find a Place Where I Can Breathe...

2009-03-19T16:16:00.003-04:00

I should probably take the time to mention that the titles of all of my blog posts are all song lyrics. Some relate to what I am thinking about and others are just parts of the songs stuck in my head.

So as usual, I am writing here to take a little time to myself while I push off other work that needs to get done. Today, I have to write a paper. I was thinking about where I would write this paper when I realized how much times change when you get older. I have a five to seven page paper due tomorrow. I am not worried and have no doubt in my mind that I will be able to finish it and have it not be the worst thing that I have ever written. One of my favorites? Probably not, but it won't be horrible.

When I was younger and things had to be typed, that was the hardest part for me. I could hand write a page but then the typing was like torture. This was back when rough drafts were written on paper and the final drafts were typed. That was also the formula, one rough draft, one final draft and that is it. You only edited the rough draft to make it the final draft. But back the typing. My mom used to type my papers, but not like other parents that typed the whole paper and would make corrections as they went, no, my mother typed in all of my grammatical and spelling errors so that I would have to learn to correct them.

In the years that followed as I learned to type my own papers, I discovered that each version was different from the others, not just in the grammar but in the way that I wanted to express myself. I realized that each time I sat down to write left me in a different mind frame than every other time. It still tends to be fairly obvious to see that I have stopped working on a paper for a while and then come back to it because the writing is more strained. I could start working on this paper and with the twenty minutes I have right now but the reality is that I will end up rewriting everything I had so it's not worth it. There are countless drafts that started out as one thing and became something different entirely as I gave myself time to think about exactly what I wanted to say and gave myself some idea of the contents of the paper.

I was also never one of this kids who could write off an outline. That was miserable. Making outlines for things that were already written, fine but trying to use them to guide what I wanted to say was impossible and any good essay I ever wrote was never off an outline. Writing is something that requires mechanics and creativity, but early on, we get the mechanics and it's time to just work the creativity, especially in thinking for yourself while analyzing.

The expectations of us changed all the time throughout our schooling. We went from being worried about our spelling and trying to just write a few sentences, to trying to write a whole page skipping lines in cursive to now, where we think about five-ish pages being no big deal. When did this happen?

My seventh grade English teacher may have been the only one to push us with us actually realizing that he was making our writing better. From my class of thirty, he gave about ten of us a separate project. This was a project more like the ones that I have now in college. It was a fairly open ended prompt about xenophobia. It was supposed to be ten pages long. Granted, at that time, we had a few weeks to do this rather then the days we have to do the same type of paper now, but I remember struggling to understand what he wanted from me since it wasn't spelled out exactly but with time, I realize that that forced me to be a better writer. It was a constant battle after that with every English teacher being different, some helped the creative part and wanted us to learn for ourselves. Others were very specific in what they wanted and grades reflected sticking to that.

So, I would love to keep talking about this but alas, I must go and take care of some things before I start my paper.

I Can Take Most Anything

2009-03-10T18:14:00.003-04:00

So I have been lacking on the updates lately but I guess I just haven't had anything really good to say lately. Right now, I am using this post to push off studying for my test tomorrow for a little while but it's all good since I worked ahead in my other classes over break to make this week easier. I guess we do learn more from past experiences. Last spring break, I remember coming back from Spring Break and feeling swamped but this year I did more work than I would have liked over break but I am back and more relaxed than I expected to be. I'm glad that I used all the travel time to get ahead. Plus, it gave me time to actually think my homework all the way through. I always have to really think though my reading responses, but this week felt different since I had hours and hours between reading the prompt and then actually writing rather then prompt only being release the day before I have to write the response and not having the time to ponder. So today, the post was a little short, but as I said, I still have a test tomorrow.

You May Say I'm A Dreamer...

2009-02-10T18:04:00.003-05:00

The last few weeks have been insane. My entire house is getting to know our new girls which has been all sorts of fun. Plus, it's the time of the semester where tests start. I honestly think I have a test just about every week of the semester until after finals. I guess it's better this way though because that means that I have more time to focus on each class individually rather than trying to cram information for all of my classes into my head for all sorts of tests in one week and instead I have time to put into really studying to understand the information.
I feel like second semester this year is going by a lot faster than it did last year. I will admit that this time last year, everything was still really overwhelming, trying to balance all of my activities from first semester, and classes and Greek Life. But now, I am so glad I learned to manage everything because I really do love everything I am doing here. I am soo excited for Greek Week and for the weather to get warmer. The more time I spend here, the more I realize that I am a West Coast girl through and through. If given the chance, I would continue to choose Lehigh as the institution at which to further my education, but after this, I will probably head back to the sunshine (I'm not such a fan of the cold) and just come back to visit. Plus, then all of my friends who live in cold places will all have an excuse to come visit.
I now have to get going. I have a paper due tomorrow that I really need to finish up before I can study for my test Friday. I'm excited to have less tests next week but honestly am not that stressed about all of it right now.

I was sitting in the classroom...

2009-01-21T12:15:00.003-05:00

So there are things that I really don't understand. Why people wear high heels on cross country flights is one thing, but the one I was thinking about today was how all of the professors I end up loving end up getting chalk all over themselves during class. In high school, my classrooms all had whiteboards so we used the stinky markers rather than chalk. Granted some teachers ended up with marker all over their hands, but it is nothing compared to how covered in chalk my teachers can be now. Last spring, I had one professor who always wore dark colored clothes, she had to jump to reach the string to pull the screen down and by the end of every class, her clothing was covered in chalk. Having her, lead me to finding my major. One of my current professors is even worse. He gets so into his lecture that he will touch his clothing (today a dark colored zip up sweater) or his face. So, yes, he ends up with chalk all over his face and in perfect finger marks across his sweater. I feel like I really going to get a lot out of his class. Maybe that should be how I find professors in the future, based on how much chalk they can accumulate on themselves by the end of class. I really feel like they let it happen without knowing because they get really into what they are saying and trying to explain. These professors are passionate people, if they weren't they wouldn't be teaching.

The Dawn is Breaking

2009-01-12T15:36:00.003-05:00

Today is the start of all sorts of things. Today is bid day. Today is the first day of classes of my fourth semester at Lehigh.

Today being bid day is bittersweet. We have some really great girls joining our house but at the same time, we know that others were disappointed. My pledge class is no longer the "newbies" or the babies as the older girls used to call us. I will no longer be the youngest in my family. Our pledge class really realized how far we have come in the last year this week. With recruitment, everyone was in the house working on putting together the various rounds so our house spent a lot of time together. We realized how different we were now both individually and as a collective pledge class from when we joined a year ago. I realized that the Greek system, specifically my house, has altered me in ways that I know I can never truly understand or appreciate. When I started at Lehigh, I felt like a very small part of a very very big place. Campus doesn't feel so big anymore when I always see girls from my house everywhere and am only without them in one of my five classes (and no I did not intentionally plan my schedule to be with them :)) Some of my best friends have come from this last year in the house. I have no idea if these girls have any concept of what they will realize that they are missing. I know I didn't. I didn't have any clue how many fantastic friendships and other opportunities I was missing until I realized this week that I had them already.

On the other hand, today was also the first day of classes. This is the last semester in my first half of college. Scary thought. It's going by so quickly. This semester's classes offer new challenges, the question is, can I meet them? Some are going to be less interesting but unfortunately completely necessary while others are more for fun and maybe filling a random requirement. It will be an interesting semester to say the least.

Now I have to go do my homework that is due for the second day of classes.

If You Want To Sing Out, Sing Out

2008-12-08T12:17:00.001-05:00

Finals time is a bittersweet time for everyone. Classes are over and we are about to have a nice long break to recharge for the next semester but on the other hand, they are an incredibly stressful time period as we try to recall everything we learned in fifteen weeks for a three hour test.For me, I actually don’t mind the finals period; I actually kind of look forward to it.Rather than having classes and club meetings take up all my time and dedicating any leftover time to homework, I have time to focus and study. During finals, I spend substantially more time with friends who I would not normally have the chance to spend time with beyond our weekly lunches since we have no common classes. Now, we can sit together in the library for hours, doing our own work but enjoying each others company at the same time. Without classes, we can choose where we want to be and when so we have the opportunity to see more people without scheduling conflicts.

Yes, there is the studying aspect too, but even that isn’t so bad.Time management becomes more important but for the most part, it comes down to recall rather than learning.If a student does all their work all semester and understands the material for each four o’clock then it becomes easier to study for finals since it is a matter of remember thing little nuances of a subject rather than the big picture.

Like many others, I get substantially more sleep during this time than I do almost any other point in the year, including vacations and weekends.Sometimes it just gets to the point where I have been studying for hours and I feel as if my brain can’t hold anymore so rather than waste time, I just go to sleep. Of course, I usually wake up about ten hours later, but I feel this is my body’s way of telling me to chill out.Being friends with people on block meal plans also means lots of gifts of food ;) as they try to use all the extra meals they have left over from the semester.As much as Lehigh becomes a community during spirit week, finals is a less obvious time that the Lehigh community is strong as ever.

Rather than everyone being all over the place all the time, everyone tends to be in the most public places like the libraries or getting food.It is always easy to run into someone you know here but the fact that everyone is in the library makes it all the more pleasant to take a break to say hi to some other friends who are also studying here.I feel like everyone becomes just a little bit nicer during this time, maybe because of the holidays, or maybe because of the anticipation of winter break, but whatever it is, it’s really nice.

The other day, we had our first snow of the year that actually stuck to the ground.None of the roads had been presalted so driving up the hill was difficult if not impossible for many.It was a good show of the community spirit though because tons of people were outside of their respective Greek houses helping to dig out cars, push people home or directing traffic into their own lot if it was going to prove impossible for someone to get all the way home.>Rather than just friends helping friends, it was everyone helping the community.Without things like the snow to bring us all together from time to time, we sometimes forget to look outside our own groups.

Well, I am a student about to start finals, so I should probably get back to my studying so I can get things done before I get distracted by my friends again.